Life is not something to be left for after you’re satisfied with your success. If you’re anything like me, ditching recreation and “low value activities” to eek out more achievement might sound familiar. I’ve talked a lot about how to recover better, work less and do more and optimize for happiness and fulfillment, but what I didn’t realize is that optimization is part of the problem.
The vast majority of things in life worth doing are not a perfectly optimized use of resources. Going on a hike, laughing with friends, or taking up painting model ships probably won’t make you “successful” in the narrow sense of the word, but these things do fulfill us and constitute a life well lived. Tim Ferriss, one of the indirect mentors that’s had the biggest impact on some of my thinking, pointed out recently that the freedom to work whenever you want, wherever you want, frequently turns into working all the time wherever you are. I hadn’t realized it up to that point, but when you start taking control of your life and become your own boss to some degree, there is no preprogrammed break time or work time. You can work 1 hour or 10 and no one will stop you, in fact society and many of your friends might encourage you to be hyper-productive, even though it might make your life worse and not better.
I regularly ask myself when I use the word “should” what sorts of things I would like to have in my rich life. There is nothing that I should do, the real question is what would I like to do, or not do. For instance, I frequently follow a relatively strict low-carb eating paradigm, and while that’s something I like to do for a whole host of reasons, from weight management to energy, to managing some autoimmunity I have, I also like to eat delicious carby foods with people I like. I’m not afraid to eat a cookie because it’s “not aligned with my goals.” I’m not a competing bodybuilder so the real reason why I would not consume a food is because I don’t want to upset my blood sugar, or trigger autoimmunity. The point is, these arbitrary shoulds and should nots, disguise the actual motivations behind my actions and direct me towards behavior that typically makes me more stressed, less effective and less happy.
Now don’t get me wrong, if you’re convinced that working more hours or working everyday until you can’t lift your head will get you to your short-term success goals faster you may not be wrong. However, I want to underscore the “short-term” part. It’s unlikely that taking a day off, or taking a nap and engaging in real self-care will hinder your 5 year goals, but it is true that they may hinder your goals in this moment. Time horizons are really key when we think about this stuff. As I’ve said in the past, doing what you love and being semi-consistent is more important than being intense and burning yourself out in short bursts. I’m happy to work less today, pamper recovery and then come back strong tomorrow, instead of doing a bunch of tired, frustrated work that I have to later correct when I actually feel good again. In my experience, truly happy and effective people are extremely good at being on when they want to get things done, and then being off the rest of the time. The secret to world-class performance, is world-class recovery. In order to perform the way you want, instead of over-caffeinating and hitting the grindstone, I think changing the way we live has the biggest real impact on the stuff that we produce.
I do have to add one more thing- rest is not another chore. Being in nature, taking naps, meditating, and rejuvenating are enjoyable things if you let them be. If you’re so anxious to return to working while you pretend to relax, not only are you not getting the benefits of the relaxation, but you are addicted to the feeling of being productive. I assure you, if you are burnt out, chronically tired, yawning every 5 seconds like I often do, you are far from doing your best work anyway. Rejuvenation is not some extra thing, or something you should do simply to work more, it’s a very important part of creativity and supporting physical and mental health. The “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mindset, is a quick path to frustration, health issues and chronic underperformance. Don’t take care of yourself because you have to, do it because you want to live your best life. As a useful rule of thumb, the quality of your rest is largely predicted by how neurotic you are while you try to unwind.
Slow down, life is a marathon not a sprint. Enjoy the little things, celebrate small wins, and laugh over a few drinks with friends. It’s not a setback, it’s called living.
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