Lifestyle Design Part 2: Analyzing Our Questions & Answers, & Grappling W/ Honesty

Written By: Orion Webster

It’s finally here, the part two of the lifestyle design series. Sorry it’s taken me so long to do this, this long of a hiatus was not planned, so I apologize.

Jumping right in, last time we talked about asking big questions and I pointed out, that if one asks a good, deep question we can arrive at the answers that help us to make sense of ourselves and make choices that get us closer to a life that doesn’t just look awesome, but feels awesome as well. However, as I stated in the last piece, it can be a tricky process to assess whether or not we are asking the right questions and digging deep as we look for the answers. That said, here I will offer some tools and tips that you can use to stay on track and course correct, if you go down a rabbit hole of overly vague or unuseful thinking.

The first thing that I would recommend, that really helps me to begin the process of getting real with myself, is actually to start off with getting into an aware state using some kind of mindfulness exercise. It may seem like an odd first step, or maybe even inapplicable to this task, but I think it is extremely important to get into your body, and become aware of how you feel, what thoughts your having, and what the environment around you is like, because all of these factors can have a profound impact on your ability to perform at this exercise. I recommend just doing a short mindfulness meditation session and doing anything that helps you to relax before you engage in this personal q and a session. If you are in sympathetic mode, and you are stressed, you will make stress and fear based choices that will lead you down an unhelpful path and paralyze other heuristics and tools that we want at our disposal. If you are not familiar at all with meditation, I recommend going over to Headspace and just doing the free take ten guided meditation system they have. It’s very simple, no stress. I might also suggest you take some quality magnesium, like magnesium L-threonate, and have some soothing tea, or some similar beverage, and find a state of calm before we begin.

After completing step one, which really does most of the work, I just suggest that you sit down with a sheet of paper and a comfortable writing tool, since it’s better to handwrite than type as the connection you will have with the medium is much higher and it will have a lot more significance if done this way, you can also record an audio clip or use a whiteboard or chalkboard or something like that. Once you have a means of recording and working through your thoughts, just ask the deepest question you can muster. This isn’t an exact science, and it’s a process. I don’t have calculus to tell you what the best question is but you will, like anything, become better at this process over time. I recommend asking the question that is most relevant for you, perhaps the one you ponder most, or are afraid to think about as this is the time to do the deep work. Rather than coddle you, and tell you not to plumb the depths of your consciousness if your brain looks like x, y or z, I will say the only way you can ever live your best life is by fighting your demons head on, and winning. If you lose you die, if you fight you can win and live your best life, but if you don’t fight you can’t win. That is an approximation of one of my favorite quotes that describes the situation beautifully. Regardless of how the demons got there, you are the only one who can stop them, no matter whose fault it is. Are you gonna fight, or die like a dog? It’s all up to you.

Now, after you come up with the question, think as deeply, and as carefully as you can about your answer or answers, and above all be honest. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you can’t identify the real problems, and you will be unable to fix them, so this is of utmost importance. If you can be truly honest with yourself, it will effect how you show up in the world and you will have better, deeper, and more fulfilling relationships and exchanges with everyone you encounter, and most of all, you will have the means necessary to help others with their demons and struggles.

The last thing I will say, is that you will know when you’ve arrived at an answer worth keeping because it will ignite a fire, and cause you to be aroused by life, and empowered in a way that many people don’t realize is possible. I wish you good luck and I hope you found this to be instructive in how to successfully arrive at answers that leave you empowered and confident, instead of anxious and uncertain. Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful day.